Finding Courage
by maraus
Summary: This is my first story, ever. I am in awe of everyone who posts stories on this site, All credits belong to Sally Wainwright.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first time writing a story, so I apologise if its rubbish,

I would appreciate any and all constructive criticism.

**No harm Done**

Kate squealed as she stumbled, and whilst trying to regain her balance she felt her elbow connect hard with someone,  
>I am so sorry she groaned in an apologetic tone, "Not to worry, let me give you a hand with that tree " said a voice she was very familiar with,<p>

Kate hanging on for dear life to the heavy Japanese maple tree, the cause of her problem, peered through it's colourful foliage, and found her eyes connecting with the distinctive, fascinating, deep blue eyes of Caroline Elliot, Headteacher of Sulgrave Heath Independent School...her Boss...

Heaven help me, thought kate, of all people to strike with my pointy elbow, it had to be Caroline, how am i going to carry this through, every time she speaks to me, unless it is work related, I end up stuttering and stumbling my words, I must look like a complete twit to her, I would think she would wonder how she ever hired me in the first place, Kate muttered to herself,

Caroline now red in the face from helping Kate lift the heavy tree onto the customer-friendly courtesy trolley, and subtly holding her rib, asked "are you alright? I could see you struggling, and thought I better give a helping hand before you and your tree ended up on the ground", she smiled "this is why i never buy such big trees, I cannot move them on my own" caroline half laughed. "Will you be alright getting it home by yourself?"

"Oh yes I will be fine thank you," kate replied, "once I get it into my borrowed ute, it will be fine, my neighbour is on the look-out for me returning home, we have dug a hole ready for the tree to be planted, so thats not a worry".. she smiled at Caroline, "I quite often come to this garden centre, sometimes I buy plants or occasionally awkward trees", she laughed, "other times I just like to wander around, I don't know why but coming here relaxes me", for goodness sake Kate, she said to herself shut up!...your waffling,

Kate wanting to apologise for the bruise Caroline was sure to have now, said. "Caroline I am so sorry as I was trying to heave the awkward tree onto the garden trolley as you obviously saw, I lost control of it, if you hadn't rescued me, I may of been stuck under the blessed thing, with my feet sticking out, now that would of been a weird sight" she laughed, pausing for breath, Kate asked shamefaced. "Is your rib ok?".

"Yes my rib is fine, there was no harm done so relax," smiled Caroline, aware of Kate's embarrassment, and also aware of Kate's penchant for talking when nervous, which she found amusing, kept the conversation going, trying to ease the situation, " I enjoyed coming to the rescue like the knights of old or knightesses of old if thats a real word", she laughed, "actually last spring I also had a small disaster here, I accidentally knocked over an exquisite rose display, well it was exquisite before i destroyed it," Caroline added with a wry smile, "so yep l am very familiar with losing control of things myself in this very same garden centre" she chuckled

" Caroline can I buy you a nice cold drink at the little café here as a thank you for helping me,  
>and to atone for nearly killing you with my secret weapon.. My elbow?".. kate shyly asked.<p>

"Perhaps another time" replied Caroline" I'm meeting my sister-in-law Gillian for lunch, and came in here to buy her a bunch of flowers for her birthday", seeing the disappointment in kate's eyes, Caroline found herself issuing an invitation of her own, "Our luncheon should be finished by three O'clock, perhaps we can meet after then, that is if you have nothing else planned for the afternoon," she smiled

"I would be delighted to meet you later on " Kate smiled at Caroline,

" Do you know the little café in the next street called " The Tasty Toasties," it's on the corner next to the health and beauty shop, the food is always freshly made, as the name suggest everything is tasty", she laughed, " the selection is varied, and the owners are lovely people, I have known them for a long time, would four O'clock give you enough time to get there without rushing?,"

"yes i do know it" replied Caroline smiling, I will meet you there at four" and with a cheery wave Caroline was gone, hurrying now to purchase her birthday gift of flowers for Gillian, a lovely spray of dark pink roses, she hurried out the exit door,

Kate stunned at this unexpected meeting with Caroline, and even more amazed that they were going to meet up later on, could not stop herself from grinning, with delight, she had dreamed of this, Caroline and her spending time together,

Kate with the help of the garden staff dragged the Tree to her borrowed truck, driving home she thought, I think caroline was as nervous as me today.. That's not like her I wonder why? I hope this afternoon it all goes well. so well in fact ,she will want to spend more time with me and then maybe more time after that... shaking her head at herself for sounding like an infatuated teenager. kate headed for home.


	2. Chapter 2

Moving On.

Caroline was past the hurt she had felt, when John her husband had walked out on her and their two boys. William and Laurence, to live with another woman...Judith! Almost twenty years of marriage down the drain, done and dusted as far as John was concerned, he had packed his things, and was gone,

She had been shattered initially when he had smugly announced he was leaving, never in her wildest dreams did she envisage this happening, she was tired from thinking about why it had happend, and truth be told she didnt really care anymore. She had moved on.

Caroline wasn't sure when this wonderful sense of freedom had become a reality, her misery had dissipated, and she felt wonderful, she was now able to make decisions freely, with renewed vigour, she found herself now laughing all the time ,what had shocked her more than anything, was the little amount of time it had taken her to get over losing John to Judith, good riddance to bad rubbish, she now thought with a half laugh, yes!, she had definitely moved on with her life.

Now that she had more self-time, Caroline in her typical way put all her energy into the running of the prestigious Sulgrave Heath Independent School, Caroline's leadership skills are exceptional, she is an excellent Headteacher with far reaching visions for her school, On her commencement at Sulgrave Heath, her first priority was to raise the low academic standards, at her first staff meeting she made it clear to her teaching staff, what her expectations were, most of the teachers .. not all .. but most of them enjoyed the challenge, when the students' results showed a vast improvement under Caroline's guidelines, the school celebrated ... A new era had begun at Sulgrave Heath,

Caroline's strode through the school corridors on a daily basis, she liked to check that her school was running smoothly,  
>whilst they had scheduled weekly meetings, she also liked being hands-on, she had eyes like a hawk, there wasn't much she missed. if a class was involved in a discussion or debate, Caroline would sometimes stop to listen, with a genuine smile of approval, and when the topic was of particular interest to her, she had been known to join in, and the discussion was the better for her participation, there was nothing she enjoyed more than watching young eager minds, being stretched beyond even what the students themselves thought they were capable of, Caroline fully understood the importance of keeping students minds eager, active, and challenged.<p>

Caroline's desk was piled high with papers, to be either signed, actioned, approved, or disapproved,  
>an informative letter to the parent's committtee about the end of year concert was to be added to the post.<br>Just as Caroline was thinking to call it a day, her phone rang, it was her personal assistant Beverly, "Caroline, I have John on line two for you", he says its urgent, "put him through please Bev", Caroline sighed, "Hello John, what do you want?, and why are you ringing me at work?" she enquired, "Well if you would return my calls Caroline, I wouldn't have to ring you at bloody work" said John, " can I come over to the house tonight, to collect some books I left behind, I need them for research for my new book I am writing," John spoke with self-importance, "No! not tonight", said Caroline with conviction," I won't be home, the boys are away, the earliest you can come by is tomorrow night"  
>"well thats just not good enough Caroline, "John yelled into the phone, "take it or leave it John", with that Caroline slammed down the phone, why do I let him get to me, she thought, so angry she couldn't think straight,<p>

That's it, that is the last time I allow John to spoil my day, she vowed, taking a deep breath, . relax!..she told herself,  
>the sooner were divorced the better, tomorrow I am contacting my lawyer, and the real estate company, it's time we sold the house, settled everything, and went our own ways, with those plans sitting happily in her mind.<p>

Finding it hard to concentrate now, Caroline thought back to the day she and kate had bumped into each other at the local plant nursery, Kate had been buying an ornamental tree, and she was there to purchase flowers for Gillians birthday,  
>through a mishap, with kate almost losing control of her tree, Caroline had come to the rescue, happily they had made plans to meet up that same afternoon in a local cafe for a drink, they had had such an enjoyable afternoon, Caroline couldn't remember laughing with anyone so much for years, if ever, they had met up many times since, both enjoying each others company.<p>

Caroline didn't have many friends, she had always been a loner as a child, and the habit had followed her into adulthood, her new friendship with kate was something she was finding precious, more than precious, if she was honest, she thought, today after work, kate was taking her to a bohemian-alternative hotel, Caroline hadn't heard of this particular hotel, but apparently kate knew it well, she said it was in the bohemian part of town. Caroline didn't even know there was a bohemian part of town, what exactly does that meant?, she pondered

Deciding to call it a day, Caroline tidied up her desk, taking her coat from the coat rack, she swept out the door, addressing Beverly as she passed. "I'm off Bev, why dont you finish up early as well, we've done a good days work today , Oh! and if John rings again, tell him I am in a meeting will you please"

Caroline with a cheery wave of her hand, and her customary fast pace walk, headed home to change before picking up kate for their night out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Karaoke**

Kate in her professional life is a teacher of modern languages, she is fluent in many languages but she excels in three, French, Italian, and German, and it is French and Italian she teaches at Sulgrave Heath, she is respected by her peers liked by her pupils and more importantly to her they give her the respect she expects from them,

Apart from languages music is Kate's second love, she can play the piano to any style of music,  
>unbeknown to many people, Kate can also sing and dance, almost to a professional standard, whilst studying at Durham University she had joined the musical theatre repertory company she had loved performing on the stage, and in her time at the university she had performed in many productions often playing the lead.<p>

kate had a secret, which she was about to nervously share with Caroline, she was performing in a karaoke finals competition tonight, at the Dying Swan hotel, she had arranged to pick Caroline up at 6pm. and they were going out for the evening together to the hotel, being reticent to use the word karaoke she had used the old time wording of bohemian giving Caroline a heads-up that the hotel was not your normal type of wine and dine, she hoped the hint had worked,

Driving to the hotel, the conversation was as always between these two non-stop interesting and lively,  
>Caroline enjoyed spending time with kate, there was a rapport between them that caroline rarely experienced with anyone else glancing at Caroline in the passenger seat, dressed casually in blue jeans with a cobalt blue shirt that accentuated her amazing eyes, she held a black throw jacket in case the weather turned cold, "You look lovely tonight Caroline not that you don't all the time" Kate added quickly "I am used to seeing you strutting around school in your Headteacher uniform, sexy tight skirt, tailored blouse, and not to mention those fabulous high heels that make your legs look two miles long," she laughed", "but I like seeing you dressed casually", she added with a shy smile.<p>

Caroline had been doing her own peeking at kate in the drivers seat, kate was dressed in tight black jeans with a soft pink shirt, the two top buttons undone as per kate's usual style accuentuating her lovely long neckline, "I was just thinking the same about you, how lovely you look tonight" she smiled, "so tell me about this bohemain hotel were going to?",she asked

"Well!" kate drawled out her reply," you do know I said it was a hotel of a different kind, I hope you wont get upset with me, it's not a wine and dine hotel, it's a hotel that has karaoke competitions, and tonights the final," Glancing in time to see caroline trying to stop the expression on her face from showing, Caroline who rarely got stuck for words, was speechless "karaoke?" she squeaked in reply "were going to a karaoke competition?" she tried to sound alright with it but the words out of her mouth resembled the same tone as when you stand in dog poo.

"wha..why would you.. er..Um.. she spluttered, a new idea took hold of her, kate are you performing in the finals tonight?" glancing at kate she could see that was exactly what she was doing. "kate you sing karaoke?.. how..when.. I mean how long have you been singing karaoke?" she asked amazed, "This is my first competition Caroline and hopefully my last, I cannot deny it has been good fun, much better than I thought actually, I somehow got co-erced into entering the competition, by an old friend from Durham", kate shook her head at the memory, " when I starting winning events, It would of been churlish of me to drop out" she explained,

By this time kate had parked the car and they were walking towards the hotel, without thinking Kate grabbed Caroline's hand, and hand in hand they entered the hotel, caroline aware of the lovely feel of her hand in kate's, and thinking kate may need moral support she told herself happily left it there, as they moved through the crowd, Kate was greeted by quite a few fellow contestants with hugs and good luck chants being the norm amongst each other, not relinquishing Caroline's hand, kate steered the way to a table she had booked for them, front and center as the saying goes a bottle of white wine a jug of cold water and some nibblies were already awaiting them on the table, kate pulling out a chair for Caroline to sit down,  
>leant in and whispered in her ear, " Thank-you Caroline",<p>

Caroline not being sure exactly what Kate was thanking her for, the hand holding? for being here?,the support?, realised she didnt care, she was just glad kate wanted her here, when the entertainment started, Caroline was amazed at the good talent she was listening to, during a small break, kate sat a little closer to Caroline and explained she was next on stage after the break, Caroline following her heart gave kate a kiss on the cheek for luck she said,

When kate's turn was announced cheers erupted Kate taking a stool and sitting on it, smiled at the cheering crowd, saying "thank-you, thank-you" the background music began, kate listening for her introduction began to sing... _Anyone who ever loved could look at me/ and know that I love you /Anyone who ever dreamed could look at me /and know I dream of you/ Knowing I love you so..._  
>It was a Cilla Black hit song from the 60's, kate kept glancing at Caroline as she sang,<br>the crowd sensing a moment not to be forgotten were silent, It was like there was just two people in the room, soft brown eyes, meeting incredible blue eyes, Caroline had never experienced such raw passion coming her way before,  
>a lump formed in her chest, and she had trouble swallowing, her eyes never leaving kate's.<p>

kate under the pretence of singing to a crowd, could finally express, what she knew she couldn't say openly to Caroline, all the longing and passion within her, all her desire showing in her beautiful heartfelt singing voice, when the song finished, there was dead silence in the room. Kate and Caroline's eyes were still locked onto each other the crowd wanting to show their appreciation erupted with cheers, clapping, and whistles,

Walking back to the car, arm in arm this time, with Caroline holding kate's winning trophy proudly, Caroline couldn't help herself from teasing Kate "Who would of thought karaoke eh!" pinching Kate with a smile.

Sitting in the car, kate took a deep breath looked into Caroline eyes and tried valiantly to explain the obvious... "Caroline I.. am sorry if I.. I am sorry if you...what i am trying to say is... if I" she tried again... "Caroline If I"

Leaning over Caroline could not help herself, softly placing a finger on Kate's lips shhhh she whispered

shh "your spoiling the moment"


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you very much for those who have been encouraging me, I do try to shorten my sentences, but it doesn't seem to happen. also I haven't a clue what. _beta a chapter means_. as advised in my review. I've still got as lot to learn,_

_Thank you_

A Change

Four weeks had passed, since Caroline and kate had attended the karaoke night out together,  
>since then the opportunities for them to get together had been limited, with school commitments including, parent-teacher interviews, student markings, Caroline and her never-ending mountains of paper work, and meetings that went on for ever, when they could manage to grab five minutes together they did, calling it their 'meet-n-greet' get-togethers.<p>

After weeks of this they were both fed up, and with what caroline boasted as brilliant organisational skills, and kate calling it crafty skills, they managed to get a weekend away together, so one friday night with bags packed they set of in Caroline's car having decided to drive north, to destinations unknown as kate called it, Caroline was apprehensive about not booking in advance, Kate the more adventurous of the two, talked Caroline into just driving to who-knows-where, it's an adventure Kate laughed.

With this sense of adventure combined with their euphoric feeling of freedom, Caroline and Kate, drove away light of heart, Caroline who loved to be in the drivers seat, kept glancing sideways and grinning at Kate, "This is such a good idea of mine she teased, with a twinkle in her eye, waiting for the expected reaction, Kate with absolute disregard for decorum, stuck her tongue out at Caroline, who broke out laughing, "This really is a good idea kate, we should do it more often," Caroline said quietly to kate noticing kate's eyes starting to close, with a sigh of contentment Caroline drove on feeling happier inside than she had felt for a long time.

Two hours into the drive, Caroline starting looking for places for them to stop for the night, realising she and Kate hadn't discussed what sort of accommodation they were specifically looking for, Caroline started to feel uneasy, did Kate expect them to get single rooms?, or a double room?, Kate had left Caroline in no doubt that she would be happy to take their relationship further, but if she was honest with herself, Caroline was not sure if she was ready to go there yet, she knew she could not envisage not having Kate in her life, and she also knew kate made her happier than she had ever felt before.

Finally spying a small town ahead, she had to wake kate up, "Kate! kate! wake up", gently nudging Kate "we need to pull in somewhere soon, we are coming into a town were we should be able to find someplace to stop for the night", kate yawning and stretching, glanced over at Caroline, "I am sorry Caroline I fell asleep I must of been more tired than I thought," Kate yawned again, looking at Caroline and noticing her tension kate spoke up, "what's the matter why are you so tense, did something happen while I was asleep?.

"No nothing happend", corrected Caroline." I started thinking of us and I kind of panicked", "Kind of panicked or did panic?" Kate asked with a smile, "well I panicked", confessed Caroline, kate leaning over cupped Caroline's cheek in the palm of her hand, "you know how I feel about you, you know I want more than anything for us to have a future together, but this weekend away Caroline is about us relaxing, nothing more is planned, I have no expectations for us... at the moment..", Kate continued, "this is what it is for now, I dont think you are ready for more,...yet."Caroline breathed a sigh of relief, "you are very kind to me" she whispered.

"Right, let's go and find somewhere to stay, have something delicious to eat, maybe a few relaxing drinks," she laughed, and I think an early night is in order, for tomorrow we play, is that o.k. by you Dr. Elliot" she teasingly added, "more than o.k". replied Caroline with a relieved smile, "it's perfect".

The next morning, the girls met up for a light breakfast, wanting to get away and on the road as soon as possible, they didn't linger over their morning meal, soon they were carrying their cases out to the car, and with smiling faces they headed out for day one of their adventure.

Cocooned happily together in the car, as does happen on long drives, they discussed many things, "What was it like growing up for you?" Caroline asked Kate?, "was your childhood a happy one?" "yep it was", Kate smiled reflectively, "my mum is an amazing woman, against enormous prejudices she held our family together, teaching us in the process how to contest adversity, she is the reason I became a teacher, I think education is the key to having a future in today's world", suddenly realising she sounded like she was on a soap box, Kate started to apologise, "sorry I can get a little passionate on this subject".

Caroline speaking with a stern voice replied, "Dont you dare apologise for having firm views", shocked that kate would even think of apologising, "your views are part of you, nothing to apologise for", smiling at Kate, after awhile kate asked caroline a similar question, "how did you manage your childhood with your mum and her firm views", Kate a little alarmed noted the expression that showed up on Caroline'as face, the answer was short and sweet, "with great difficulty" Caroline grimaced at her memories. "I am sorry Caroline, that your childhood wasn't very nice" wanting to comfort Caroline, Kate placed her hand on her thigh, giving it a squeeze, Caroline put her hand over kate's and accepted the comfort.

Stopping at small towns that took their fancy along the way, and buying silly mementos whilst laughing with each other at the absurdity of their purchases, eventually stopping at a small roadside cafe for a light dinner, reading the specials board, they ordered a seafood platter for two, followed by cheese and biscuits, with a nice cup of tea to follow, happily refreshed they decided to continue driving for at least another hour before stopping for the night.

Spotting a B & B, the girls drove into a vacant parking spot, walking into the reception an elderly man smiled at them as they entered "Can I help you?" he smiled. "Would you have two rooms we could book for the night please," Caroline asked smiling back, "we certainly do" he said. "we have two adjoining rooms, would you like to see them?", grabbing a couple of keys he preceded Caroline and kate to two doors, opening first one door then the other with a flourish, asking proudly "well what do you think?" the theme in one room was strawberries, with garish strawberry pink cushions, and ornaments, the other room was an apple theme, with bright apple green cushions and ornaments, "These are lovely rooms thank you" said kate politely.

Walking outside to retrieve their bags, Kate leant into Caroline and sweetly said. "I bags the green room cos the colour is soothing to my soul", with a dramatic swirl of her hand, Caroline said "Oh good bags me the strawberry room then, cos I am SO sugary sweet..not.." with that the two of them started to giggle, which turned into full throated laughter, holding each other up with tears streaming down their faces.

After finally settling their bags in their rooms, they decided to go for a stroll, looking for a place to have a meal and hopefully a nice glass of wine, Kate with a glint in her eye took hold of Carolines hand, knowing kate so well and realising this was a challenge of sorts, Caroline squared her shoulders, and firmed her own clasp, leaning into Caroline kate whispered in her ear, "see its not that hard, ..my sugary sweet girl..", with a chuckle, as they continued strolling down the street.

After their evening meal the girls walked back to the B & B feeling tired but happy, though it wasn't mentioned between them then, as it would be later, both Caroline and Kate knew there was a shift in their relationship, their current situation had become not half good enough for either of them anymore,.. a change had happened..


	5. Chapter 5

**Caring**

Caroline sat in her office reading the annual changes to the 'National Curriculum for Schools In England.' whilst her school was an independent school and therefore had their own curriculum obligations, as set out by the independent schools inspectorates, she liked to keep up to date of any and all changes in the education system.

Beverly in her office next door knowing Caroline didn't want to be disturbed, muttered to herself, " I'm doomed if I do, and I'm doomed if I don't". knocking on Caroline's door, and hearing Caroline's sharp, "Come in Beverly" she poked her head around the door, "how did you know it was me" she asked.

As engrossed as Caroline was in her paperwork, she replied with a genuine smile for Beverly, "because Bev when I am this deep in paperwork, I dont think even the board of governors could get past you, so for you to interrupt me it must be important. What is it?,

"kate Mckenzie has rung in sick, I thought you would want to know". Beverly knew she had done the right thing seeing Caroline's reaction. Beverly is very observant, she had seen how things were developing between Caroline and Kate. "Sick? what do you mean sick? how sick?" Caroline asked anxiously.

"Kate said she had a migraine headache and wouldn't be back until tomorrow," Beverly replied.  
>Caroline breathed a sigh of relief, that it wasn't anything more serious. "Bev thank-you" Caroline smiled her gratitude at Beverly as she started to exit the office. Beverly looking back nodded, "Your welcome Caroline"<p>

After work Caroline strode up to kate's front door, not wanting to startle kate she knocked gently on the front door panel, automatically turning the door handle as she was knocking, surprisingly it opened.

"kate" she called out, "kate," whilst peering through the open door. Caroline not hearing an answer from kate, hurried inside. Glancing into the sitting room to check if kate was lying on the couch, then heading upstairs, to continue the search. Opening kate's bedroom door, she found kate asleep on her bed.

Tip-toeing up to kate's bed, to check if she was alright, Caroline was transfixed by the sight of kate in slumber. Extending her hand, unable to resist her urge to touch the sleeping Kate, she gently ran her finger-tip along kate's jawline.. My! ..how beautiful you are she thought.

Caroline noticed kate's eyes slowly opening at her touch. "I'm sorry if I woke you kate" she whispered, "I was heading home from work and thought I would see if you were feeling any better. Your front door was unlocked, and I automatically hurried inside to check if you were alright, finding you asleep on your bed I..." Caroline's anxious eyes showed her concern.

Taking Caroline's hand and firmly holding it in hers, Kate smiled. "It's ok Caroline, when I started to feel better, I sat on my bed just for a minute or two, next thing I know I must of fallen asleep. Thank- you for coming to see if I was o.k. Whilst my headache's gone, what is lingering is the feeling like I've been hit by a bus, she joked.

Caroline leaving her hand joined with kate's, sat down on the side of the bed. "Beverly told me you rang in sick with a migraine, I didn't know you suffered with those nasty things?, they can be brutal. Have you manage to eat anything today? Would you like me to make you something to eat if you are hungry?" Caroline peppered kate with questions, trying to be helpful.

Kate who had dreamt many times of Caroline in her bed, could not resist the temptation to tug lovingly on the hand she still held, Caroline her eyes never leaving Kate's, lent forward at the invitation, and their trembling lips were joined together in a kiss so exquisite, that they both felt humbled by the sheer love that was being given and received. "Well as first real kisses go that one would be hard to beat, "Caroline whispered.

"If you are sure your fine, can we do that again please?." she smiled at kate. This time kate allowed Caroline to initiate the kiss, Caroline seeing kate waiting for her, reclaimed Kate's soft welcoming lips with her own eager ones, they both moaned at the wonder and joy this kiss conveyed.

Caroline losing herself in the kiss, began tracing the contours of kate's top lip with her tongue, upon hearing a gasp from Kate, she found herself almost half lifted and now laying on top of Kate. As her body melted lovingly into kate's, She felt an unprecedented sensation, her body's needs had over ridden her inate cautiousness, and she was awash with desire.

Caroline sought kate's lips again desperately until gasping for breath, she raised her head. Her deep blue eyes gazed seriously into kate's soft brown eyes. Seeing Caroline's serious expression, kate cupped Caroline's cheeks with her palms... with her heart in her throat, and her mind racing. Had she overstept the line?. Had she read this wrong?. Was this too soon,? she whispering anxiously.. "What?.

Caroline's eyes never leaving kate's whispered firmly. "kate Mckenzie you have stolen my heart." Of all the words Kate expected to hear, that was not them. Overcome with emotion and with tear-filled eyes, Kate whispered back, "Oh Caroline, you stole my heart the first time we met, I have waited so long to hear you say you care for me." Caroline with tears streaming down her face now, sank her head into kate's neck, feeling to emotional to say anything.

kate put her arms around Caroline, and pulled her as close into her body as she could, holding her as if she would never let her go, running her lips down Caroline's neck, sucking tenderly so as not to leave any marks on Caroline, sighing with her love of this woman.

Caroline with a quiet moan deep in her throat, once again sought kate's lips with her own, these kisses while still passionate, were kisses of a new and loving understanding between them, that while their feelings were now out in the open, they could also see a future together. As tiredness overtook them, they snuggled down and dozed of together, holding each other in sleep for the first time.

In Kate's kitchen Caroline was preparing scrambled eggs for them, "This is good of you Caroline", Kate said "I know you have been at work all day and I really am not that hungry," then groaned as her traitorous stomach gave her away by rumbling loudly, Caroline laughed, and re-assured Kate.

"I am not that tired, I did manage to have a little sleep when I got here," she blushed. "Caroline your blushing" Kate grinned, making Caroline blush all the more.

Caroline stopped Kate from teasing her further, by kissing her silly. "Now whose blushing Miss McKenzie," she laughed.

"It seems to me Dr. Elliot" that we need to work on this blushing thing".


	6. Chapter 6

_On a borrowed computer, with six kids running around me, I managed a chapter. If it doesn't make sense,_

_neither does my brain at the moment. A HUGE thank-you to Misha20 for your support, Appreciate it very much._

**Doubts**

Every once in awhile an event could occur in our life, that we may not be prepared for. Kate was Caroline's once in awhile event. She was delighted that Kate and her were together, more than delighted actually, she loved being with Kate. she thought with a smile. But if she was being honest with herself, she was a little worried how quickly it seemed to have happened. She was not prepared.

Way back when, about three hundred years ago, when she and John had gotten together. It had taken them years to become serious. With Kate and her it seemed to happen overnight, or so Caroline felt. If there was one thing Caroline liked it was being in control. and she wasn't.

Wondering if it would sound insane, and knowing it would. To start a negative conversation by saying, "kate I am not sure how this. ..Us.. happened so quickly?. Or words to that effect. Even saying it to herself in her mind, had Caroline cringing.

Snuggling together on Kate's couch, watching a program on television. A one-sided presentation. How the internet and facebook in particular, had changed people's behavioural patterns. Caroline's mind kept thinking of Kate, who was happily ensconsed in her arms, holding Caroline's hand, and playing with her fingers, separating and stroking each one, lifting and kissing the back of her hand. Whilst watching the program.

"Kate can I ask you something?,

"Of course you can, Caroline. Ask away.

"Do you think we may have gotten together a little too fast? I mean I dont think it's fast. I am just wondering if you think it's a bit fast. I have been thinking, and making no sense of what I am thinking" " Caroline spluttered.

"Christ! I am sorry Kate that was so inarticulate, and it came out in NO way how I wanted it to."

kate sat up straight, "Just say it how you want me to hear it Caroline, I know you feel out of your depth somedays, I see it in your eyes. I will listen".

Caroline with a sigh of thanks for kate's patience, tried again.. "It took John and I years to get together kate, and even then I was the one who ended up pushing for our relationship to become permanent. John would of been happy I think, to just keep on going as we had been for years. But I needed to know where we stood. And if we did have a future together as a couple?. Or was I just being controlling? . I dont know." she worried.

"And now I am wondering if your happy with -Us- If perhaps one day I may take control again, like I am sure I did with John. I dont want anything to sour things for us. I lost respect for John as the years passed, and I realise now that rightly or wrongly, to me he became weak-minded and the love died between us".

"I don't want that to happen to us...Ever... I want you and I to have a happy future together Kate. You would tell me if I was being controlling, wouldn't you?. If I was pushing you into anything? I can have a tendency to take control." she admitted shamefaced.

Kate nodded, "Yes I would tell you Caroline. And no you haven't over stepped the line and taken control, far from it to be exact. Am I happy with us? Well I'm not unhappy. Seeing as were talking about happiness, but I do want more. When the time is right." Seeing the shock on Caroline's face at her reply, Kate continued softly.

"Caroline don't worry, I do want an ..Us.. . I want You! .. All day every day, if I could, If I'm being honest." she smiled. Taking Caroline's face in her hands, kate brought their lips together, kissing Caroline greedily, slipping her tongue into her mouth, seeking Caroline's welcoming tongue, as they danced their familiar duet of delight.

Drawing back with a sigh, trying not to be distracted. Caroline looked into Kate's gentle brown eyes and anxiously asked. "Sweetheart, I do think it is important to be open and honest with each other. I'm a big girl, she smiled at kate, I can take criticism. Well sometimes, and in small doses," she added with a wry smile.

"Also there may be things I won't think about. There may be times it could be necessary for you to give me a nudge, if I am being hopelessly obtuse occasionally, or being stubborn. You can pinch me, and say Caroline we need to talk."

"So tell me in what way do you want more?". Caroline asked quietly.

Taking a deep breath, Kate continued, looking more serious than Caroline had ever seen her. "I want us to be a real couple Caroline. To be partners in everything we do. In how we eventually live. This relationship is new to you, I do know that. And I will go slowly for your sake, and I know you have your family to consider, your boys."

" So in answer your original question. Nope were not rushing into anything. We are just talking about things today, sharing our thoughts. The Good, The bad, and The Ugly, she smiled. lightening the situation.

Caroline could feel a myriad of feelings, in her chest. She had never been happier than she was now with Kate. But maybe her thoughts of concern, were really fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of this relationship with Kate, Fear of what people may say!

Oh for Fuck's sake. she admonished herself. Get some backbone. Isn't this the reason you fell out of love with John. His inability to make decisions, his inability to stand up and be counted.

kate is being open and honest with you. No half-measures Caroline Elliot. she told herself if you want to keep Kate, and you do. (The thought of losing kate made her feel sick). If you want to keep the love of this wonderful woman.

You have to be courageous. Fight for kate. Fight for this relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

_One more day until series 3 begins.__ But for myself I think I will have to wait until it comes out on dvd, grr...__I think the BBC (England) and our ABC(Australia) have parted ways. which means I think it's not going to be shown on our TV... _

_I hope I'm wrong, but cannot find anything telling me otherwise_.

**It's Time.**

Caroline was outside in kate's lovely Japanese garden. Sitting on a sturdy old garden seat, which kate had placed beneath her ornamental maple tree. The tree that had helped bring them together. Kate had hung coloured lanterns in the tree, and at night when they were illuminated, it took on a magical appearance.

It was here Kate told her, she had spent many a lonely night sitting and dreaming about her. Now it was a happy place, where kate and her often spent time together. Sitting, sharing confidences, speaking of their past, and lately speaking of their future together.

Caroline was enjoying looking at the full moon, shining through the tree tops. Her boys were spending this weekend with their Dad. So on these rare occasions when they could get away together they did, this time though they chose to spend the time at kate's house. Relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Kate had stayed with Caroline in her house on Conway Drive on occasion but not often. They were more comfortable a Kate's. Caroline had yet to sit her mum down, and speak to her about her Kate.

She knew it was time she spoke to Celia. She knew only to well how her mum would react. She had been there before. Kate needed to know... NO! amend that, she thought, they both needed to know, that they could start organising the future they wanted. They had been sharing ideas. It was time to put some of those ideas into action. Caroline knew if they were to have that future they dreamed of... First she had to face her truth... And her mum.

And a huge part of that acknowledgement, was stepping out of the shadows, and admitting her relationship, her love for Kate, Caroline with her analytical mind, always made specific plans. These plans were now bubbling in her mind. The next step the difficult step was to carry them through. She was determined.

Right first, my boys. She smiled thinking of them. In no doubt of their love for her. But would they be ok?, with her wanting Kate in her life. In their lives. William her eldest would be happy for her, she thought, but she wasn't sure what her younger son's reaction would be. Laurence being so close to his Dad, John. Her decision she knew would affect them, she could only hope it would turn out alright. She had to try.

Then there was Celia..

When she was 19 years old. Caroline had come home from Oxford University specifically to tell her mum her news, she was in love. Celia was happy for Caroline, and of course wanted to hear all about it. With a twinkle in her eye, and a smile on her face. Celia hugged Caroline. Then the questions began.

"How old is he?. What courses is he taking?. Does he have good prospects?" said with a pointed laugh.

Belatedly, Caroline realised Celia hadn't realised who she had fallen in love with. "Mum stop! You've got the wrong end of the stick!. "We may as well get this out of the way... It's Not a He... You've heard me speak about Frances".

"But Francis is a boy name," interrupted Celia. Looking aghast at Caroline.

"No! No! No!" Caroline spoke up quickly. "Frances is my room mate, and were...". Caroline had stopped talking,  
>horrified at the vitriolic expression on her mum's face.<p>

"Well don't tell your father. Don't tell anyone around here, they think your odd now, being so smart. This will ruin your life Caroline. I wont have it." Celia raised her voice, to emphasise her point. "We havent raised you to be like this.  
>I dont know what your thinking. STOP it now before it gets out of hand."<p>

Caroline at that age didnt have the endurance to stand up to her mum. Tearfully she ended the affair with Frances, and conformed to the expectations of her mum. To what she knew was expected of her. Years passed she met John, raised a family. Twenty five years later, she was back to worrying about Celia and her reactions... Deja-Vu..she thought.

"Caroline! Caroline!", kate stepped out into the garden. I have made us a pot of tea, can I pour you a cup?" she smiled.

"That would be lovely thank you Kate." Caroline answered quietly, still lost in thought.

Kate seeing the worry on Caroline's face stepped closer to her, "what's the matter? is everything alright?." she asked.

"It's time kate, it's time for me to speak to my boys," she smiled. "And my mum" she grimaced

"Oh Caroline, I know how hard this is for you, I never wanted to push you into anything that would cause you grief? Kate anguished.

Caroline stood up and took kate in her arms, looking deeply into her gentle brown eyes, Caroline spoke with all the love she could show for this woman

"I want to do this kate. I need to do this. For me. For us. My boys have been my life, their welfare and happiness has always been my number one priority."

"And now I have you, we have each other." She smiled, kissing kate. "You are so important to me, I want you in my life, not just here at your house nor just at mine. I want us to be partners in everything we do. If you agree with me that is. She smiled shyly.

"Of course I do you twit." Kate said affectionately "Do you want me to come home with you?. I will stand with you and support you as you tell your family."

"Would you mind doing that with me Kate? I can do it by myself, but it would be nice to have you there with me."

Pausing to think, Caroline reconsiders. "Mind you my mum will probably take it quite badly, perhaps it's not such a good idea. If she upsets you, it would upset me and it could get mean."

"I can handle mean Caroline. If You want me there I will be there. If you would feel better if I stay here, then thats what I will do." kate smiled.

"Thank you sweetheart for offering, it means a lot to me. But I will tackle my mum." Caroline replied firmly.

Caroline sat back down on the garden bench, inviting Kate to sit on her lap by patting her knees, needing no second invitation kate straddled Caroline's lap, putting her arms on her shoulders, looking into Carolines deep blue eyes.

"Caroline Elliot, just in case. Never forget I love you."

Leaning in at the same time, lips seeking lips that always responded, always wanting each other, unable to stop themselves. Touching. Feeling, Tempting. Kate's tongue sought out Caroline's, greedily deepening their kiss. Caroline's fingers trailed slowly, lovingly up the inside of Kate's thighs, stroking softly, seeking the wetness she knew would be waiting for her. Widening her legs a little for better access, Caroline gently slips two of her fingers inside kate, hearing with delight Kate's tiny moans in the back of her throat. Increasing the pressure when she feels Kate's tremors beginning to overcome her. Hearing that deep groaning sound Kate makes as she reaches her orgasm. Caroline lovingly holds her tightly, until she feels Kate sag against her.

she whispers in her ear..."Kate McKenzie, just in case. Never forget I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

_Taking the first step in anything. Someone Really wants to do, can be hard, harder for some than others. _

_This story was about that. Finding courage_

_ I thank everyone for their reviews, and your support. I learnt a lot writing this. Thank you_

_SW is such an awe inspiring writer...Was a bit of a cheek really following her story._  
><em>But if your going to, "Have a go." There is no one better to try and emulate than. The Best.<em>

**Finding Courage**

Caroline was thinking as she drove home, mainly about how her boy's would react to the news of her relationship with kate. she hoped they would be ok with it. Of course she hoped for a better reaction than an ok. But considered, a Fantastic, or a Brilliant was out of the question. So an ok would do for now.

She knew there would only be one outcome from Celia. One bloody negative opinion, she thought. Her opinionated Mum. Whose bigoted ideas she had heard all her life, who was still stuck in the dark ages, and never minded sharing her narrow misguided ideas to anyone within earshot.

Confrontations!..Dr. Elliot thrived on them, she rarely swayed from the decisions she made. If you really wanted to change something Dr. Elliot had decided upon. You better have a damn good argument to back it up. If you managed this. You got your change. And her respect.

Caroline alternatively, particularly in her younger years, did not handle arguments well. Perhaps from growing up with her argumentative parents. She had been in this situation before, when she was a teenager. The damage that nasty argument caused had followed her into her adulthood. When kate had come into her life. Caroline changed. She finally found what she had always longed for. Someone who saw beneath the Dr. Elliot facade. Someone who loved her for herself. Caroline felt the empowerment of this love. There would be no backing down this time.

Striding through her front door. she called out to her sons. "Boys!." William popped his head over the stairwell and grinned, "Hi mum." "Can you come downstairs please William, Where is Laurence? If he is in his room can you get him and both come down here please." Giving both boys a hug as they came through the door. Caroline gestured. "Sit down please, I want to discuss something with you both."

"I have something I want to share with you. This isn't easy for me." She noticed both boys looking at her, then each other, there had been so many changes in this house, in their lives lately. They wondered what was to come. "Um, er the thing is," she swallowed." I have met someone." "Who?" said william always the first to speak before Laurence. "This person is very dear to me," she continued. "We have been spending a lot of time together." Looking at her sons "It's serious."

"Who?" asked William again jumping in anxiously, is it someone from School?, Michael Dobson?" he asked. " What! that insidious little prick." Why would you think that?" Caroline replied aghast. "Nope, No! No!. Definitely Not him, not bloody Michael Dobson." Taking a deep breath she continued. "But yes it is someone from school.. I would like you two boys to be happy for us. Happy for me she smiled at them. This person is kind, gentle, loving, It's kate McKenzie."

She waited for something anything to be said from either of the boys, after what seemed like a long long silence. William spoke up. "She obviously makes you happy, we did notice you haven't been so sad lately. We mistakenly thought it may of been Dad." No, it wasn't your dad, and "Yes, she does make me happy. We make each other happy," Caroline answered him with an affectionate smile.

Looking at her younger son. "Laurence?" "I don't know what to say mum" replied Laurence. "I suppose this means you and dad will not be getting back together?" "Your dad and I haven't been happy together, for a long time. But together we still love you boys. That will never change. Your dad and I won't ever be getting back together." she answered him kindly

"If your with a woman," Mum, "People will be mean. I don't want people to be mean to you". Laurence spoke tearfully, Oh! Laurence I can handle people being mean and nasty. As long as I know you boys are fine. As long as I know your alright with kate and I being together, that's all I care about. I can handle the rest.

I know this is a shock for you both. Are you really ok with it.?" Caroline paused, looking at them questioningly.

" We are fine with it mum... We will be fine with it." William firmed. Answering as usual for the both of them. "We only want you to be happy, we have seen how miserable you've been since dad left."

Smiling Caroline beckoned the boys, putting her arms around them, she held them tightly, her heart full of love for these two young men, who had been her reason for living for such a long time. She knew William was really fine with it. She was not at all confident about Laurence. He is caught up in the emotion of the minute, she thought.  
>Only time will tell, how he manages. Particularly at school, knowing only to well how cruel some kids can be.<p>

"What about granny? Laurence asked the question. Releasing the proverbial elephant in the room.

"Leave granny to me." Caroline said firmly, giving them a half smile. Knowing convincing her mum, was another matter entirely.

* * *

><p>"You got a minute?" Celia smiled at Caroline through the doorway into the study. "Sure mum." Caroline replied throwing her reading glasses onto her work desk.<p>

"I've got something to tell you," Celia smiled

"I've got something to tell you as well," Caroline replied, gesturing with her hand, "You first."

"Well!" Celia drawled out her words. "Alan, my pen-pal, you remember us speaking about him at the cafe. I've decided to meet up with him next monday"

"I'm pleased for you mum, it will do you good to get out a little more." Caroline spoke distractedly.

"You don't sound that pleased Caroline."

"No I am pleased mum, I am pleased for you." Caroline smiled. I really am!.

"whats your news then," Celia asked

"I've met someone as well mum, I hope your going to be pleased for me.

"Who.? Does this person have a name? " she enquired, "John's not long gone. This seems rather quick."

"It's someone from work. The modern language teacher, "Caroline bravely continued. "Her name is Kate Mck...",

"Her?. Caroline. Did I hear correctly.? Did you say kate.?" Celia scornfully interrupted.

"Yes I did Mum. Her name is kate Mckenzie, she is nice, she is kind... I hope you will be happy for us. Happy for me?" Caroline said quietly.

"Caroline! I thought you got over this nonsense years ago. You were married to John for twenty tears." Celia raised her voice.

"Well I guess I didn't Mum, when I tried to talk to you about these feelings, when I was a teenager you would'nt listen then. I am not an impressionable teenager any more. I am a very aware adult. This is what I want. Can you please be happy for me, can you..."

"No I don't think I can Caroline. Are you stark raving mad. Come to your senses. Before you make a fool of yourself." Celia bitingly Interrupted

"I was worried, you would be like this. I hoped you would be more accepting. I have spoken to the boys. They are fine with with it. I really would like you to be happy for me. I want to be with kate, we want to be together. I wont be changing my mind." Caroline stood firm ready to battle on.

With nothing more to say. Celia stormed out, slamming the door as she left.

* * *

><p>Later that night, snuggling with kate on her couch, Caroline replayed the events of the day. kate was alarmed at the nastiness Celia had displayed and said so.<p>

"Caroline are you sure about this.? About us.? Stroking Caroline's face with the back of her fingers kate continued. "I love you Caroline, and I am fearful that Celia's nastiness may come between us at some stage. I don't want to see you hurt...Us hurt..." she spoke anxiously

"kate!. I am successful in my professional life." Caroline began to explain, "But I have not been happy, I was lonely until I met you, and because of you, because of us." she smiled "All that changed. I couldn't be happier than I am now with you." she said kissing kate. " It took us being together for me to find the courage to be myself."

"I realise we will have our ups and downs. I do realise that, I know it won't be easy. We still have a lot to learn about each other, there may be times we dont agree. We can work on that" she smiled. "Occasionally I have been known to be pig-headed" she laughed, "I am confident we can have a happy life together. Despite my mother. She grimaced.

I do want to try. Dont you agree? she whispered to kate.

"I have never wanted anyone in my life, as much as I want you Caroline." kate whispered back, "I definitely do agree."


End file.
